Monday, February 9, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You-the Movie

My sincere apologies for posting this and then taking it down without warning. And thank you to the four people who left comments. I invite you to re-post your comments if you are able.

My sister and I saw this movie on Sunday afternoon. The Rizkallah Sisters give it two thumbs up! Every woman will enjoy this film and so will every man who is secure enough in his manhood to admit that romantic movies are fun and that Sweet Home Alabama or 27 Dresses were especially enjoyable. (True stories but I won't name names!)

The film begins with a scene of a little girl who gets pushed on the playground by a little boy who happens to be her crush-item. She goes crying to her mother who proceeds to tell her that the reason he did that was because he likes her. The next shot is of the little girl with a sincerely confused look on her face.

The film responded to several of the issues we face in modernity.

1. Should women ask men out?
The film stresses the traditional idea that men should be pursuing women, not the other way around. Of course, in our day, women chase after men so much that men hardly ask women out anymore. Justin Long's character says, "Listen Gigi, if a guy wants to see you, believe me, he'll make it happen."

2. Are virtual realities such as text messaging, Facebook, online dating web sites legitimate means for meeting or communicating with your special interest?
I really appreciated how the film portrayed a negative view of technology in this case. Drew Barrymore's character had the insight that, "These days people don't meet organically anymore! You update your profile picture before you go get a haircut." I actually have a friend who got asked out to dinner through text messaging-seriously. Then two hours before the date, he canceled it. Via text message. I personally believe that the reason people (including myself) spend way too much time on Facebook and so forth is because we are really craving true, organic community but lacking it, we resort to technology to fill that need. Lorenzo Albacete says, "We need community in order to be truly human." At the end of the film, Barrymore deletes her MySpace account.

3. Relationship is an art, not a science. I can not explain, understand, or have knowledge about my significant other through the scientific method.
This is a typical assumption modernity embraces (due to bad philosophy stemming from Kant, previously Descartes...for more information, see my previous blogs): that any real knowledge is limited, narrowly to the scientific method. There is a scene in the film where a man gives his advice about dating women and then says, "It's not science but it's true," or something like that. Well, of course not!

4. Who really does the breaking up?
The film emphasized the idea that men are the real decision makers when it comes to making or breaking a relationship. While I have never been dumped (don't be jealous, I've still had my heart broken), I felt that I was always willing to work on things and it was essentially the man who threw in the towel. Women are extremely loyal and realistic about relationships. I tend to believe (because of my experience) that women are realists when it comes to love and that men are idealists. Always trying to match their idea of the perfect woman with a woman out there. I hate to break it to you men, but there are no barbie dolls and even if we look like one, believe me, we are just as quirky and weird as well, you are. :)

5. Vulnerability: A good or bad idea?
The main character, Gigi, is irresistibly endearing because of her vulnerability. She is unafraid to appear desperate because she is so honest about her need for a relationship. People who are vulnerable can be easily scoffed at but they only portray what most of us feel or want. Of course, one doesn't want to be too extreme and advertise in the personals section or anything but on the otherhand I find it so unattractive when I meet men who have to behave as though they are untouchable, super-extra ultra cool. Here in D.C., I meet a lot of people who have to make sure I know how smart they are. I admit, I am frustrated because I am a laid-back Californian with a Middle-Eastern temperment and personality. Even though it's risky (to live is to risk a poet said), I think being vulnerable is more humane. In one scene of the film, Gigi, crying says to Justin Long's character, "I may say and do a lot of stupid things but I'm closer to finding someone than you!" I agree with her but if I were the screenwriter I would have re-written the lines to say, "I may say and do a lot of stupid things...but at least I am alive!"

At the end of the day, we are all human. As my high school friend Jenny once told me, "we all pick our noses, Simone. If anyone denies it, they are lying."

This is a topic I would love to hear your ideas about....

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