Doubt

I just saw the movie Doubt starring Meryl Streep. The movie and her lead were both excellent. You would think because I am a Catholic, I would not like this movie. But I loved it and I'll tell you why.

Of course, Meryl's brilliance and the captivating suspense of the film is highly enjoyable. The cinematography is beautiful and the camera angle shots add interesting touches to the meaning behind the scenes.

1. The beginning of the film makes you think that the uptight traditionalist Sister (Meryl Streep's character) is the bad guy. Actually, she turns out to be very likeable because behind the cold, austere exterior, her character truly cares about the welfare of the school children.

2. The priest is a progressive who "in the spirit of Vatican II" (or so they say) doesn't see anything special about the priesthood. Wow! to Hollywood for demonizing a liberal for once.

3. The priest is not just a pedophile, but a homosexual. Empirical data links pedophilia with homosexuality. Further, this problem is not a celibacy problem, but a homosexual problem. It has nothing to do with the fact that Latin-rite priests cannot marry. I appreciated the exposure of this reality as an element in the film.

4. There was certainty at the end of the film that the priest was guilty. This we know by the fact that he did resign his position and by the fact that Meryl's character told him that she contacted a nun who worked with him in the past and he flipped out when in reality she did no such thing. She even said, "His resignation was his confession."

5. I appreciated the line in the film where the more naive, younger sister is told my Meryl's character, "you just want your simplicity back." Life is complicated. Period. We are human and oftentimes are blind to our sins and to our infidelity to God through our impure motives.

6. LOVED the ending. So many reasons. I'll try to express myself well. Meryl's character had certainty that the priest was guilty. The fact that he resigned and that even the naive sister couldn't sleep at night made that evident to the viewer. She did the right thing by doing everything she could to get him away from her school. And she succeeded. But she also lost because by resigning he got a promotion. He got transferred to another school and another parish. The movie ends with her saying "I have doubts."

I didn't interpret this to mean she had doubts about his guilt, but about God. There is a shot right before this scene of the crucifix in her hand.

It's perfectly understandable for her character to have doubts here. I would argue that the number one reason why there is atheism in the world is because of the problem and reality of evil. Even among believers this is a problem. You can explain it, but it's never okay. This is where faith and trust in God, comes in.

Meryl's character was faithful. She did everything she could and yet it seemed like God let her down by the fact that in the end, the priest "won."

Sometimes in life, especially when our prayers don't get answered in the way we see fit, we doubt, right? Even when our prayers do and have been answered, in amazing ways, we still doubt.

Another reason I thought the ending was brilliant was because the film opens with the priest's homily at mass on the subject of doubt. She judged him for that homily only to find herself later relating to it. Perhaps even being helped by it.

Oh, how I enjoy the utter humanity of it all. We have all experienced those pride-busting moments when we are (spiritually) put in our place by someone we did not expect or someone we deemed below us. Now, I don't mean to imply that we should look to criminals to learn morality or for spiritual guidance, certainly not. But even the greatest saint is still a sinner.

Another complex element I enjoyed, and one that begs further reflection, is that Meryl's character sinned to gain her certainty about his guilt which eventually led to his resignation. She lied and told him she had contacted a nun who had worked with him in the past. The naive sister in the film was SHOCKED when it was revealed that she had done no such thing. That she lied. First, I think we have become so dishonest, we are desensitized to it. It's just a little, white lie, what's the harm? Well, venial sins lead to mortal sins and a lie is still a lie and as Christians we KNOW we are not supposed to do it. But we do. And you know what? I don't think we really feel all that bad about it. I mean, who even has the attentiveness to even notice the depth of how dishonest we can be? Both with ourselves and with other people. But in this film, the gravity of her reaction was refreshing to me. I was even slightly taken aback by it. It wasn't until that moment in the film when I realized that the reason the naive sister was so unwilling to believe the priest was guilty was because she was so innocent. As they say, "To the pure all things are pure."

Her lie also begs the question: does the end justify the means? Is it okay to lie for a good cause?

Did the effect of her lie actually cause more harm in the end? His resignation did in fact cause his promotion and thus more opportunity for him to continue in his transgression.

Thus, it seemed as though she had won, she did, in fact, succeed in her will of getting him out. But instead of being punished, as he should have, he was rewarded. Her prayer was answered, but his promotion caused her to doubt.

What if she hadn't lied? What if he remained at her school? It would seem as though she had lost. But maybe this circumstance, awful as it is, in the long run would have been better? Would she have had doubts? Or would she have continued on her resolute path to win this battle?

In seeking justice, you must be just. Was this a problem of method?

My interpretation is one among many I suppose. Obviously, I hope everyone understands the film in the way that I did. Of course, I watched the film not only as a believer, but as a Catholic. I didn't catch any anti-Catholicism, only the reality of what has happened and the reality of the spiritual struggles of even the most faithful believers.

It goes without saying that I felt sad during the film because of what the American Catholic Church is dealing with and how people, understandably so, have been scandalized.

It completely breaks my heart when I hear stories of how people have lost their faith or have left the Church over this matter. We need to remember that there will always be wolves among the sheep. We also, as Christians, ask and hope to be judged by the best of us (the Saints, John Paul II, Mother Teresa) and not by the worst of us.

Lastly, I felt inspired to continue the life of faith, to seek holiness, because God knows, we need witnesses. Everyone needs Christ in their lives, let us make that proposal!

Charism

1.Von Balthasar –“Charism” in “You Have Words of Eternal Life”, Ignatius, 1991.

a. Charism = a spiritual gift – with a view toward a mutual exchange where both members are strengthened – Romans 1:11-12.

b. Charis = the same thing –2 Cor. 1:15.

c. The “gift” God gave Paul in saving him from death, benefits the churches – 2 Corinthians 1:11.

d. Charism=a vocation to a particular status in the Church that benefits the entire community – 1 Cor. 7:7.

e. Charism= the equivalent of the word “Calling” [Klesis] – 1 Cor. 7:17-24.

f. Both words occur side by side in reference to Israel’s Election – “The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable –Romans 11:19, 29.

g. Charism also exists as a giving of “God’s grace” that contrasts with the human fall into sin, - Romans 5:15.

h. Charism=”God’s bestowing of eternal life” in contrast to “the wages of sin, which is death” – Romans 6:23.

i. Charis also refers to the charity inaugurated by the collection taken up for the Jerusalem church – 2 Cor. 8:4, 6-7, 19, described as “grace”, and “commonality” and “service” (2 Cor. 8:4).

j. The gift of grace (=charisma) can be a unique or repeated rescue from death where the Church assists only through prayer (2 Cor. 1:11).

k. Each member of the Church can receive various aptitudes of both a natural and supernatural character that presuppose an underlying grace (charisma) to be employed for the good of the whole community (Romans 12:3-8).

l. Among these aptitudes, service to the congregation (diakonia) receives specific mention.

m. The gifts listed in 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, based on the situation there, includes those that fall within the scope of common Christian experience (wisdom, Knowledge, discernment of spirits, faith) while others are more unusual and unique (healing, working miracles, tongues, and interpretation, prophecy (=the ability to describe the will of God in a specific situation-propheteia).

n. If one wishes to describe the charismatic life Christians encounter, one needs to keep in mind this entire range of meanings.

o. This colorful collection is delimited along two sides – they all come from God and they are for the Church, or put more broadly, for eternal life.

p. Graces given to an individual are never exclusive. Someone who can expound God’s word, can discern spirits as well. The same applies to teaching. The gift of leadership or pasturing also includes an ability to teach, and the latter involves knowledge and wisdom. Charisms are anything but specializations.

q. The Apostolate in the broad sense pre-supposes many gifts of grace –1 Corinthians 12:28.

r. In the Pastoral Epistles, when speaking of a church office,they mean the entire cluster of gifts needed to exercise the office properly. – 1 Timothy 4:12, 2 Timothy 1:6.

s. No vital Christian will attempt to tie himself down to a single charism. To do so would impede the Spirit who leads them.

Prayers to the Holy Spirit

Oh Holy Spirit, Soul of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me. Tell me what I ought to do and command me to do it. I promise to be submissive in everything that You ask of me and to accept all that You permit to happen to me, only show me what is Your will. Amen.

Forgive me my sins O Lord, forgive me my sins. The sins of my youth, the sins of my age, the sins of my soul, the sins of my body. My idle sins, my serious, voluntary sins, the sins I know, the sins I have concealed so long and which are now hidden from my memory. I am truly sorry for every sin, mortal and venial. For all the sins of my childhood up to the present hour. Dear Jesus, forget and forgive what I have been. Amen.

Divine Spirit of light and love, I consecrate my mind and heart and will to you for time and for eternity. May my mind be open to your divine inspirations and to the teachings of the Church whose infallible guide you are. May my heart be filled with love of God and of my neighbor, and my will conformed to the will of God. May my whole life be a faithful imitation of the life and virtues of Christ our Lord, to whom, with the Father and You, be honor and glory forever. Amen.

These prayers were personally given to me by Babsie Bleasdell in 2003 at the Southern California Renewal Conference. It was after that conference that I received a hunger for God's word in the Scriptures and began to read.

Say these prayers every day for peace and serenity.

On Being Spiritually "Fit"

This is a brief article I wrote on being Spiritually "Fit" a long (long) time ago. Maybe I will use it for my Youth Group.

Becoming spiritually fit demands much time, effort, and exertion. Think about the person who wants to be physically fit. He or she will start with his or her first trip to the gym. For anyone who’s ever vowed to “get in shape,” the first workout is definitely not an easy one. Especially if one’s life beforehand consisted of little or no exercise and plenty of junk food. The first workout can be compared to the first time a person begins his prayer “workout,” the beginning of a new spiritual life. Just like the physical workout, the spiritual workout is not an easy one. It may feel awkward, especially if those spiritual muscles have been dormant for a while. The words may seem stilted and unnatural. Don’t despair. One doesn’t expect to run a marathon after one workout, neither should you expect yourself to be a pro-pray-er. Praying will feel uncomfortable at first, but over time you will improve your prayer skills and you no longer will be trying to control your prayer but the Holy Spirit will be guiding you in prayer. Just like your body adjusts to the workouts, your soul will adjust to the increased spiritually you hope to gain by avid praying. After a while your body needs a workout everyday, and your soul will need to pray. It will become a non-negotiable fact. MTV and other spiritual junk food will no longer be acceptable to your soul, it will reject it. But be careful, just like the body can revert back to its unhealthy shape, so can the soul.

Great Lent-Week 5

Jesus Dies on the Cross-A Meditation by Luigi Giussani

We are sinners, and Christ’s death saves us. Christ’s death turns any past of ours into good, but our past is full of darkness that is called sin. And it is Christ’s death that saves us. We cannot acknowledge Christ on the cross without immediately understanding and feeling that this cross must touch us, that we can no longer object to sacrifice; there has no longer been room for objection to sacrifice since the moment when Christ died.

Precisely through our gaze fixed on the cross–where hangs the One who looks at us with the fixed gaze of eternity, fixed with pity and the will to save us, having pity on us and our nothingness–through the gaze fixed on the cross, what would be something so foreign as to seem to us abstract, arbitrarily created, becomes the experience of redemption. It is by fixing our gaze on the cross that we learn to perceive experientially the invading Presence and the unavoidable need for grace that gives our life perfection, and gives it joy. It is in Mary that the adoration of our heart finds its example and its form. For the condition of the cross was not just for Christ; Christ’s death on the cross saves the world but not in isolation. It is not alone that Christ saves the world, but by the adherence of each and every one of us to suffering and the cross. St. Paul says it: “In my own body I make up all the hardships that still have to be undergone by Christ, in His Cross and Passion.”

With you, o Mary, we recognize that the renouncement that is asked of our life is not a punishment, but the condition for its salvation, for its exaltation, for its increase. Mary, make our offering, the offering of our lives, help the poor world, this poor world, to be enriched in the knowledge of Christ and to rejoice in Christ’s love.

Great Lent-Week 4

Jesus on the Way to Calvary-A Meditation by Luigi Giussani

God who came among men goes to the scaffold: defeated, a failure; a moment, a day, three days of nothingness, in which everything is finished. This is the condition, the condition of sacrifice in its most profound meaning: it appears to be a failure, it appears not to succeed, it appears that the others are right. Remaining with Him even when it seems that everything is finished or has finished; staying next to Him as His Mother did–only this faithfulness brings us, sooner or later, to the experience that no one outside the Christian community can have in this world, the experience of the Resurrection.

And we can leave for another love this Christ who moves into death to deliver us from evil so that we may change, so that the Eternal Father may regenerate in us what the crime of forgetfulness has outstripped! This man throws himself onto the cross to brandish it, to embrace it, to be nailed on it, to die, to be one with that wood: “Will we leave him for another love?”

This Man pours out his blood for us and shall we leave him for another love?

Great Lent-Week 3

Jesus is Crowned with Thorns-A Meditation by Luigi Giussani

That little head which Mary, like every mother with her newborn child, would have enfolded close to her without squeezing it, and caressed delicately as every mother does, and looked at in wonder and admiration, would one day have to wear a crown of thorns. Salve caput cruentatum. How the Virgin felt echoing inside her this evil of the world, without details and without accusations, but as an already boundless grief that would culminate in watching her Son die!

Great Lent-Week 2

The Scourging of Jesus at the Pillar-Meditation by Luigi Giussani

The companionship of the God-Man in our life has become inconceivable, unimaginable tragedy, one that defies anyone’s imagination. In all the centuries of history there cannot be imagined–not even in play, like a fairy tale–a tragedy greater than this: the companionship of God-made-flesh was forgotten, outraged by man; a tragedy that arises from the cynicism of our pursuit of our instincts. Around this “wood” coagulate the evil of man who fails the call of the Infinite and the disasters caused by this crime, so that the death of the God-Man is the sum and symbol of all these disasters. And, at the same time, here too is met the irresistible power of God, because just that supreme disaster and that evil become the instrument for its conquest and redemption. This is the enigma that God maintains in life, because this great plan of goodness, wisdom, knowledge, and love must be a trial, must put into action the idea of trial. Why a trial? Because the world is in evil, the world lies in the Evil One.

Great Lent-Week 1

Jesus's Agony in the Garden-Meditation by Luigi Giussani

“Now my soul is sorrowful; and what must I say, ‘Father, save me from this hour [faced with the thought of sacrifice, the thought of death, of self-denial…]’? But it is for this that I have come to this hour [for this, for this condition have I been chosen, called, lovingly taught by the mystery of the Father, by the charity of the Son, by the warm light of the Spirit. Now my soul is sorrowful and what must I say, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? ‘Take away this condition, Father, take away this condition.’ Must I say this? But it is precisely for this that I have come to this hour!].” Thus I can say at the end, “Father, glorify Your name [glorify Your will, bring about, realize Your plan], which I do not comprehend [because He did not comprehend the great injustice]. Father, glorify Your name in front of which I stand in fear and trembling, in obedience–that is to say, in love. My life is Your plan, it is Your will.”

How many times–praying to the Spirit and the Virgin Mary–will we have to reread this passage in order to identify with the most lucid and fascinating instant in which the consciousness of the Man Christ, Jesus, expressed itself. We can come upon this by surprise, from its deepest recesses to the highest peaks of His example of love for Being, of respect for the objectivity of Being, of love for His origin and His destiny, and for the contents of the plan of time, of history. “Father, if possible, let me not die; however, not my but Your will be done.” This is the supreme application of our acknowledgment of Mystery, adhering to the Man-Christ kneeling and sweating blood from the pores of His skin in His agony in Gethsemane–the condition for being true in a relationship is sacrifice.

Great Lent

Orthodox Christians called Lent, Great Lent. It is a great and very holy period of time in the calendar of the Church.

"Oremus pro invincem" ("Let us pray for one another") during this time of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving in preparation for the event of the Resurrection.

Here is a meditation from Luigi Giussani...

The Virgin felt that the creature she was carrying in her womb would have, one day, to die (every mother feels this, even as she tries not to think about it), but she did not feel that He would rise again. This is the event which is uniquely comparable to the mystery of the beginning. Just as the seed took shape within her womb, so, in the fullness of time, He would rise again; that Man would rise again. But she didn't know this. "Let it be done to me according to Your word, " on the Virgin's lips, is the same as, "Lord, Your will be done," on the lips of Christ. The correspondence between the Angelus and the Cross lies in the fact that both say, "Let it be done to me according to Your word." This is the gesture of obedience in its pure essentiality. Its pure essentiality makes you tear away from something that God asks-to then pass through a cross and a resurrection from which a limitless fecundity springs forth, a fecundity who boundary is the boundary of God's plan. Fecundity springs forth from virginity. Virginity can be conceived of only this way.